Gosh I can't help but think about how I messaged Jeff last night and sent him a couple pictures I drew and he told me not to message him cuz he has a gf now and doesn't want to make her uncomfortable....uhh it's just pictures of art no nude anything...I literally don't think about him sexually or romantically at all. He was my first ever serious boyfriend and we dated for 3 years and he can't even look at things I've drawn....I don't say this often but what an ass!! That really hurt! I mean damn. Oh well what can you do. I'm not gonna cry about it. I just really really enjoy Connecting with people from my past...I did a lot of fucked up things over the years and for so long I was too humiliated to talk to anyone cuz I have no idea what I could of possibly have said or done...I mean I defiantly remember being not so very nice to people at least towards the end of my using. I totally burned bridges. But today I am trying to make things right or at least apologize. Most people are so happy to hear from me again and glad I'm doing good but there are a couple 2 at this point that just don't even want to talk to me. The wreckage of our past right?! MAke amends whenever possible!